Cookie monster

Dear Reader, If the idea of a healthy cookie seems like an oxymoron, that's because, well... it is. But don't expect that to stop the Girl Scouts from trying to sell you one--or rather, several boxes of them. This year marks the debut of a brand new Girl Scout cookie called the Mango Crème--a so-called "delicious new way" to "eat with health in mind." According to their manufacturer ABC Bakers, these "crunchy vanilla and coconut cookies feature a mango-flavored creme filling with all the nutrient benefits of eating cranberries, pomegranates, oranges, grapes, and strawberries!" The reality, however, is a little bit different. Mango Crèmes actually feature a product called NutriFusion(tm). It's a food-based supplement that supposedly endows each three-cookie serving with 15 percent of the recommended daily intake of vitamin B1, as well as 5 percent of vitamins A, C, D, E, and B6. Not surprisingly, they don't mention the additional 180 calories, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of sugar, and practically zero fiber that come with it. And the fact that Mango Crèmes contain no preservatives, trans-fats, or hydrogenated oils? Well, that just means they go stale a whole lot faster. Now I don't mean to come down too hard on the Girl Scouts. Obviously, that cute little girl selling boxes outside of the supermarket didn't come up with this ridiculous idea. But someone up top should be aware that creating a new Frankencookie isn't the best way to appeal to health-conscious consumers. (At least, not the smart ones.) Don't be fooled. Mango Crèmes won't make you healthy any more than Thin Mints will make you thin. (And I'd be willing to bet they don't taste half as good, either.) So until the Girl Scouts start selling fresh local produce, I suggest finding another way to "support the troops."